October 4, 2019

Wow! Yesterday was a whirlwind and I got a bit overwhelmed and posting was bumped off my list of things to do because of family obligations.

Family first.

On a positive note, I attended my 4th consecutive home meeting yesterday, and 20th overall! Starting this process of healing has been difficult. But, I am finally feeling as if I belong in these meetings. I am finding comfort in saying my name and that I am an adult child of an alcoholic. I am owning it and putting myself out there. *Just typing this makes me so happy.

Anyway, This morning I went on a walk and as I did that I called into an ACA meeting. That meeting really got me thinking about how I treat myself. For so long I have worried about my mother, brother, and sister. Their lives, their choices and how I see that they could do better if they just did XYZ (The list could go on and on for what XYZ could stand for). I have looked after and cared for my husband, and my kids, putting myself on the back burner. I have berated myself saying horrible things I wouldn’t say to anyone else. I’m not enough. I am not worthy. You’re not doing enough. I was thinking about these things and I realized I have been deflecting my pain and burring it further by focusing on my mom, my brother and my sister and how they should change. I have no control over them. I can’t change them. I can only change me. As for my husband and kids, I can’t fully take care of them like I want unless I start fully taking care of me first. I have heard this statement so many times in my years but it is finally registering thanks to talking to ACA members and attending meetings. My wellbeing is just as important and I need to remember that.

That’s all I got today.

Happy Friday and have a great weekend!

Adult Child of an Alcoholic

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: